Thursday, January 11, 2007

Bangalore--Its a jungle in here.

The temple priest is surprised. "Very good, Nikhil, very good. You have finally realised that God is all powerful and omniscient. That is why you are here every morning to pay due respects to Anjaneya" (he actually spoke in shuddha Kannada but since blogger does not provide Devanagari font, I have decided to translate (transmaul?)his great words in English) I squirm uneasily at this point and make an ambivalent gesture to indicate that I have indeed become wiser. Little does the priest know my intentions are much more cowardly. I come to the temple out of fear.

I am afraid, terrified of the Roads Of Bangalore(ROB). Yes, dear reader, this is no exaggeration, the ROB is (is or are? grammer check) among the most dangerous forests in the world. The Rainforests of Amazon or Borneo pale in comparison to the mighty man-made Roads Of Bangalore.

"What an absurd comparison" Some of you might ask. To those of you who asked, I counter with this point: (those of you who didnt ask may skip it if you want)
Think of the name: Bangalore. Bang.. I guess you know what it means. Galore..means in plentiful amounts. Bang+Galore = Bangs in plentiful amounts. Not a very comforting name to boast of, is it?

And what creautres inhabit this god-forsaken place! Vehicles of all shapes, sizes and hues are waiting to make your life miserable once you step on ROB. Whatever kind of roads you travel on (tar road, mud road, "is that supposed to be a road??!!" road, no road) there seems no respite from the other vehicles.

The potbellied overaged and errant bus driver, the sly foulmouthed autodriver playing Kannada songs with full bass effect so you can hear nothing but bangs and thuds intersperced with an occasional grating voice, the crazy stressed out IT/BPO professional on the bike driving with suicidal(and worse, homicidal) abandon, I see them everyday, only with different faces.

Having asked Anjaneya to give me strength and courage for my heroic endeavor of trying to reach office in time, I set off on my rickety fifteen year old Kinetic Honda (the only thing kinetic about it is the name). I finally reach office after the ordeal which lasts close to an hour.

But Im safe and sound-thats all that matters. Now to rest for a good six hours before I start worrying about returning home again....